


Wrecking Thoughts

by Yurika



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 07:45:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2843504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yurika/pseuds/Yurika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Harurin are on a verge of a break up (mainly because of the constant misunderstanding) but when they watch their friends (soumako) falling in love and getting together, Harurin realises the reason they were so in love with each other </em>
</p><p>My Prompt from chiasa!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wrecking Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chiasa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiasa/gifts).



> Here is my Gift for chiasa!
> 
> I hope you'll like what I wrote for you  
> it really gave me hard time!  
> I gave my best to keep it from getting too cliché  
> So I hope you and maybe other people will like what I wrote and leave me a comment or kudo!
> 
> Also:  
> English is not my first language and never will be  
> I proofread it myself so there might be mistakes spelling- or grammar- wise  
> If you notice anything contact me right away and I will change it as soon as possible!
> 
> Much love~

Rin's heart clenched in his chest. This had been happening far too often those past days. He had this unsettling feeling in his gut and mind when he thought about his relationship with Haruka. There were just those uncertainties about what was going on in their relationship. A problem which seemed to be undefined from any of them.

Rin could feel it in his heart and it hurt him as hell, giving him heart aches in the middle of his training, as soon as he remembered the last text they shared, the last call they ended with an 'I love you'. Was it this? That little sentence which hurt Rin? He did love Haru, didn't he?

After all the day he confessed, he had been sure.

On their countless dates after Haruka's yes, he had been sure.

Even on the day they had to part their ways so that Rin could fulfil the dream he yearned for since he was a little kid, he had been sure.

Hell, he had been the one to assure Haruka that their bond was more solid than anything else, that even iron or steel could break more easily than what they shared with each other. After all their souls were bound to be together, weren't they?

A sigh escaped Rin's lips as he turned to his side staring at the wall that was presented beside his bed. These thoughts had been nagging him for days. Actually since his last call with Haruka. The teen had sounded so different on the other side of the line, as if something was bothering him, as if something was paining him. But Rin hadn't been able to put his finger on what the thing that bothered Haruka could be.

His thoughts kept pushing and pushing until those swum in his head in a wild mixing of ideas, assumptions and theories. Maybe the teen wanted to break up because long distance relationships were hard and Haruka never had been the type to be clingy about people. Okay he had his anxieties about crumbling friendships but did the same go for a romantic relationship?

Rin groaned and gripped his hair. No he should not think about things like that, it just resulted in making him feel awful and putting ideas in his head which could never be true, right?

Suddenly Rin's mobile buzzed behind him. After letting go of his hair he turned around in his bed, watched how that thing vibrated, how its light kept going on and off. A long exhale escaped his mouth as he reached over and took his mobile in his hand.  
Hoping it to be not a call or text from Haruka. But dear lovable god it was luckily Sousuke. A smile tugged on his lips as Rin began to read the message.

_**Hey Rin.** _  
_**Everything fine over there?** _  
_**I hope you don't have the intend to cut of the messages with me again.** _  
_**After all you didn't reply to my last one.** _

Shit what? He hadn't replied to one of Sousuke's texts though he had promised to never miss a call or text ever again. Without even thinking twice Rin went through his file with the incoming messages and really found an unopened one from Sousuke. So he opened it quickly.

_**Hey!** _  
_**Gou asked me to send you a package.** _  
_**Are you allowed to accept one in your dorms?** _

Oh hell what was Gou planning again?  
He opened the last message he had got from Sousuke again and typed a reply.

_**My bad didn't see your message.** _  
_**And yeah I can accept packages.** _

After typing in every single word and proofreading it for the tenth time, he sent it and waited for the next message Sousuke would probably sent in a few seconds. And really his mobile buzzed even sooner than Rin had thought and he opened the next text.

_**Come on.** _  
_**Something like this isn't like you.** _  
_**You always check for messages.** _  
_**Were you thinking too much about your Haruka those days?** _

Rin grinned, he could exactly picture how Sousuke looked while saying this. With a quirked eyebrow while saying the last sentence and a teasing grin in his face. Then Rin began to type his answer.

_**Of course I thought about Haruka.** _  
_**After all he is the best thing that hap_** _

And then he stopped in the middle of his text.. Haruka was the best thing that happened to him, wasn't he?

Rin released a long sigh when he deleted the text and rewrote it.

_**Of course I thought about Haruka.** _  
_**After all he is my boyfriend.** _

Rin sent it and laid his phone aside, knowing that the next message would either be another teasing one or not even a text where Sousuke awaited an answer. Rin laid down again, positioning himself like before watching the wall as he once again was lost in his own thoughts.

* * *

Haruka was deep in thoughts, looking out the café window and just watching how clouds slowly moved towards east far up the eternal blue sky. His mind was full, crowded with all kinds of things as always but this time Rin dominated his thoughts and he could not brush off anything about the lilac-haired teen.

Rin had been in Australia for a few months now, and their calls and texts were always filled with assuring words of how much they loved the other and that they would most probably see each other again after some more time -when Rin could get time off from his practice. He practiced a lot, so did Haruka after all they both shared the same dream now -a dream Rin had helped Haruka to find. The only difference was how they reached this dream.

Haruka had stayed in Japan whilst Rin went aboard and trained there, giving his best. Only over skype Haruka could see Rin's face and felt each time the overwhelming desire to just stick his hand through the screen and touch Rin's soft skin. To sum it up, Haruka missed Rin. He missed touching the other and seeing his laugh right in front of him instead of through a layer of plastic, wires and bytes.

He missed the way Rin was always overly excited. The way he always felt the need to put his arm around Haruka's shoulders. Haruka missed his boyfriend. Because of that each call and text had been more painful for him those past days, to an extent that he nearly avoided to call or text Rin when there was no need.

"..ru... Haru... Haruka!"

Haruka snapped out of his thoughts.  
"Hm?" He looked asking towards Makoto.

"You were spacing out again." Makoto said and smiled right after. "What happened to you? You don't seem to be happy those last days... I could hear it on the mobile but when seeing your face it is even more noticeable than before."

Haruka looked at the table in front of him. He hadn't touched his coffee since they sat down on their usual spot in the café.

"You have your Rin-face, Haruka. Did something happen to him?" Makoto asked softly.

Haruka didn't respond, he just looked shortly up and tried to figure out for a brief moment, what this Rin-face of his was.

"Is there something bothering you about your relationship?" Makoto tried again.

Haruka was aware that his friend knew by now, that it was about Rin and that, yes, he was concerned about his relationship with Rin. Makoto's and his way of understanding each other without words could be followed back to their childhood.

"Did he say something Haru?" Makoto's questions wouldn't, couldn't help Haruka with his problems if he didn't speak up and Haruka knew but in the end it still was hard to speak about.

After all these were his feelings, the very core of his heart and what he felt for Rin. He looked in emerald eyes and didn't say anything but tried to explain it like always with his eyes -with the way he looked- but this time it didn't seem to work so his gaze just returned to the desk and the coffee he was holding between his palms. He brought it up to his lip and took a small gulp, discovering that it was cold by now and just placed it back on the table. There was a small frown on his face due to the cold and bitter taste before he heard a buzzing sound and looked then up with an asking face.

"Oh I've got a text from Sousuke." Makoto said a bright smile appearing on his face.

A smile Haruka just saw when Makoto talked about Sousuke or texted with him and to be honest it pained Haruka a little bit that there was a person in Makoto's life who could make Makoto happier than he could.

"He wants to meet up with me today Haru." There was still this honest, lovable and beaming smile in his face. "What do I do?"

Haruka smiled slightly in amusement.  
"Why not meet up with him?" He said right after.

"Are you sure?" Makoto looked asking towards Haruka and then to his phone.  
"We don't really know each other and he wants to meet up with me? Okay we do go to the same college and share classes but still..."

Haruka sometimes asked himself if Makoto was ever honest with himself or if he even realized when he felt more for a person than just friendly feelings. To be honest Haruka often realized when Makoto had feelings for someone, he had seen it when they were kids. Makoto had had a huge crush on a pastry-lady with long and dark hair, who would always share a nice talk with them though they were little kids. But Haruka was sure that Makoto himself never realized it.

When Makoto was interested in someone, or had feelings for them, he would smile more often when he recalled their name or saw their faces. His way of speaking would change to a softer tone than normally -and this fact indeed was impressive- it had been that way with the pastry-lady too. At first after their first meeting with Sousuke, Makoto hadn't shown it much, there had just been hints with him spacing out until Haruka thought that he might be ill but after asking and checking about it there wasn't anything alike that.

But then some months after their graduation and moving to Tokyo they ran by chance over Sousuke's way. It had been on the day they had been finished with unpacking in Makoto's new apartment near the college he would go. They had decided to grab something for their meal, so they had went to a near bakery and were about to buy something when they saw each other -or rather Sousuke saw them. They bought something to eat and seated themselves at a table speaking about what they were doing and how they ended up in Tokyo. During that chat Haruka had seen and heard it, the way Makoto spoke softly, the way he smiled more often than normally -which in fact was incredible- and he had had a small blush on his face which most people could interpret as result of their hard work before. But Haruka knew better, he knew Makoto better than Makoto knew himself.

"He might have questions about your classes."

Haruka uttered knowing that this sentence would help Makoto to make up his mind and meet up with Sousuke. It sure was delighting to see Makoto this way. A changing mix of confused and total irrational while thinking about excuses why he would meet up with the other than real feelings. Haruka could see it in Makoto's eyes. It reminded him of the first times he met with Rin, to that time he still insisted that Rin was unnerving, nothing more than a rival for him.

When Haruka thought about it he never had been just friends with Rin, first he had just been a guy who insisted to be friends with him, then his rival who pushed Haruka to his limits, and finally someone with whom Haruka had fallen in love. This alone showed how special Rin had been for him since their first encounter. A small smile nearly brushed over Haruka's features but sadly this time it just stayed in his mind never reaching his lips.

"Ah you're right. I think then I'll go." Makoto laughed nervously.

Haruka watched as Makoto began to type his answer. His fingers typing fast over the display of his mobile, deleting and then typing anew. It was just like the first texts Haruka had sent Rin, not really knowing what to write in those digital letters. But these days even those letters full of "how are you" and "miss you" hadn't any more meaning left, they were mere words on a screen -Haruka began to hate. After some time Makoto laid his mobile aside.

"Ok we will meet up at the library." Makoto stated as to assure himself and looked then up to Haruka.  
"Back to Rin. What happened between the two of you?"

"Nothing." Haruka said expressionless and took another gulp of that cold, bitter and black coffee.

* * *

Rin shot up from his bed. He had overslept. How could this happen to him? Never had he overslept in his life not in preschool and not in high school, never. But when he needed to be on time he overslept? With a groan he swung his legs out of bed and straightened up, stumbling to his wardrobe, pulling out some white shirt and black trousers.

This time there was no time for jogging. He put on his clothes quickly and snarled at his own reflection in the mirror before running out to the street. He hadn't had time to do anything. Still having his stupid bed-hair was a horrible thought for Rin, his clothes were crinkled, hell he hadn't had time to iron them before running outside. His steps led him quickly to his stop, just to see his bus driving off.

"Fuck no!" He growled under his breath and bent over, supporting himself on his knees to get some air in his lungs from the uncoordinated running he just had.

He pushed himself up, straightened his posture and looked into a window to examine in what kind of shape he was. What greeted him was dishevelled hair a messy, crinkled shirt and trousers hanging low on his hips. His looks were awful it seemed like he had a fight or make out session just some seconds ago. Grumbling about his looks he checked the schedule and groaned right after loudly. The next bus would get there in twenty minutes.

To jog or run wouldn't be a bad idea as it wouldn't really change much about his looks at that point anyway. But then again his way to the pool he would train that day was far and he wouldn't get there before the bus. So he just mumbled quietly to himself and looked again in a window as to adjust his looks. After all he still wanted to look more or less presentable.

He combed with his fingers through his hair and arranged it so that it looked untidy but okay, at least not like he just got up from bed or got in a fight on his way to the bus-stop. Tugging at the edges of his shirt he straightened the material as much as possible and tugged then his trousers up a little bit until he looked like a normal citizen teen and not some delinquent which broke out of prison.

After a deep intake of breath Rin sat down on the bench. This was really not like him, just like Sousuke had texted him last night. A long sigh escaped his lips as he brushed resigned through his hair. The thoughts he had about Haruka and his relationship with the teen were killing him. It went as far that he hadn't been able to tell the difference between what really had happened and what he thought that happened in the end.

Rin hadn't been able to sleep at all last night as those stupid thoughts wouldn't leave his mind at peace. Which led him to this day where he had overslept and missed his bus and everything was just awful. So his thoughts returned back to Haruka. What when the other really wanted to break up? His voice on the phone had sounded troubled the last calls, he hadn't looked as happy as he did at the beginning of their long distance relationship on skype either.

If Haruka really wanted to break up Rin knew that he wouldn't be able to bear it. He wouldn't be able to carry on his life like before. After all Haruka was his love, the first love which stuck in his heart this long. First friends as kids, then rivals in swimming and finally after Rin had realized what he really felt for Haruka and the teen had said yes boyfriends.

To have finally asked out Haruka and the positive respond had made Rin the happiest guy on earth. All their first times had been wonderful. Holding hands, kissing, making out, dates. It had been perfect and even after Rin had travelled over to Australia the skype calls, the good night kisses over the cam, everything had been beautiful and just what Rin wanted. And now he had this, he didn't know what was going on in Haruka's head at all.

Rin gulped down the lump in his throat and then chewed on his lip. What he knew was that he most probably should never think about matters like these. After all Haruka loved him. He really did Rin just knew, though their last texts hadn't been that much of delighting ones, but still Rin knew he did. Things like these really pulled him down to the ground of the sea, it felt like drowning midst the darkness of the deep ocean, without help, without hope.

But he couldn't help it the worries were in his head and they kept coming back again and again and again, no matter how much Rin pushed them away. The way Haruka spoke over mobile, his texts even his face on skype there was something that really was off. Rin was deep in his thoughts until someone tapped on his shoulder.

"The bus is here." This person said. "Thought you might want to catch this one, you seemed pretty angry about missing the first one."

Rin looked towards the young man and then to the bus that was driving in.

"Oh god. Thank you a lot." Rin said overly grateful while standing up. "Really thank you."

"Nothing to thanks!" The teen grinned and sat then on the place Rin had been sitting while thinking.

Rin just went into the bus. Plugging his headphones on he seated himself and looked out of the window, watching the scenery which slowly blurred out when the bus drove off.

* * *

"Hey Rin." Haruka smiled into his webcam.

"Hey Haru" The lilac haired teen responded.

Haruka could see clearly that the other teen was tense, his shoulders, his voice, his looks. It was unsettling to see the otherwise happy and cheery teen like this. What had happened in that week where they hadn't had a call? Sure his texts had been strange too but to see the teen like this made Haruka's stomach turn around. He tried his best to not show the other how he felt about Rin's appearance as it seemed like Rin tried to hide his mental state as well as he could.

"How was your week?" Rin asked suddenly pushing Haruka out of his train of thoughts.

"Ah, everything's fine over here." Haruka said and smiled right after trying to ease the other with an assuring smile. It ended up feeling awkward as he didn't know how to smile when he didn't feel like doing so.  
"Are you coming over to Japan this month?" Finally asking what had really been on Haruka's mind for days.

He missed touching Rin, laughing with him and looking into his eyes full of life.

"I'm sorry this month isn't possible. But maybe ne-" then a buzzing sound interrupted the teen mid-speech.

Haruka watched Rin as he took his phone to his hand and sighed in relief and then a smile played on his lips. This confused Haruka more than anything else that had happened between them. The teen hadn't smiled when entering their skype call, but was smiling now at his mobile? This genuine and lovely smile wasn't directed towards Haruka but his mobile. It was irritating. Haruka didn't know what exactly was going on... Did Rin even want to get back to Haruka?

* * *

Rin smiled at his phone. Sousuke had texted him about his date with Makoto. To be honest at first Rin had thought, that Makoto wasn't the best person to date for Sousuke but the more he thought about it the more he could understand why this emerald eyed teen woke curiosity and love in Sousuke's heart.

After all Makoto was nice, caring, cute in a manly way. Did something like being cute in a manly way even exist? Anyway he was the perfect type to fall in love with if Makoto was a girl. He wasn't but that didn't matter as Sousuke still was in love with him like some little elementary schoolgirl.

As to answer the question did Rin entrust Makoto to the hands of Sousuke, was a clear yes. Sousuke had dated one or other girl through his years in high school but never used them for anything like satisfying his natural urges as a teenage boy. It was more like going out to movies, holding hands and kisses. Until the girl wanted more, though Sousuke would always struggle with the thoughts about doing it with them.

How Rin knew was obvious, they had been room-mates and best friends. Though they wouldn't tell each other everything, things like this were still important to speak about. Also Rin would always question Sousuke insistently about his new girlfriend and how his relationship was going.

So to sum it up Sousuke had a big soft heart under that cold façade of his. There wasn't even any other man or woman out there who could make Makoto happier than this big idiot Sousuke.

How Rin found out about his interest had been easy too, because after seeing the emerald-eyed teen he had begun to ask Rin various things about him mid-conversation or just as side question in his messages. Questions like what Makoto's favourite colour was, or food, or whatever you could imagine to ask as a stupid question.

Of course Rin had begun to tease Sousuke about his big crush on the caring Makoto. Though he honestly had thought at first that this interest wouldn't hold long enough to become a date. Oh did he miscalculate as in that exact moment Sousuke was sending him the details about his first date with Makoto. He read through the text and another bigger, more loving smile appeared on his face when he read the last sentence.

_**I think I'm in love with him.** _

To write a little sentence like this must have taken all the courage Sousuke could muster. Rin knew that it was scaring and delighting the same time to realize that you were in love, it had been the same way with him when he finally was sure about his real feelings for Haruka. He had texted Sousuke with trembling hands though the teen had been just on the top bunk, but to speak it out loud was way too hard for Rin. Since to that moment Rin could still remember what Sousuke's respond had been as he texted him back that night.

_**It was just a matter of time.** _

This simple sentence had made Rin realize that he had been in love with Haruka since he knew him. After typing this exact sentence a long sigh escaped Rin's lips then he put his mobile away and gloomy feelings replaced the nice ones he just had while remembering how he realized that had fallen in love with Haruka. After all everything seemed to be different now.

The thoughts that Haruka wanted to break up pushed themselves more and more to the fronts of his mind. The tanned face was twisted in a nasty, forced smile when looking in Rin's face and it hurt Rin, made him wonder if Haruka even felt the same way about him. Another sigh escaped his lips as he turned to face Haruka again just to gaze into frowning features.

"It was Sousuke." Rin uttered shortly while smiling.

"I see." Was the only respond he got. "I have to take a shower and eat for dinner." Haruka then said suddenly.

Rin's eyes widened. Shower? Dinner? Normally Haruka and he were done with these kinds of things before calling each other.

"But we just started the call." Rin began to tremble as slowly his fragile heart began to fall apart.

* * *

"But we just started the call." Haruka heard Rin saying, sounding like a wounded animal.

Sure they really had just started the call, but Haruka couldn't bear it any longer to see Rin's sad face, which just had lit up when seeing the text from Sousuke. There shouldn't be two people in his life who found more comfort in Sousuke than him, the least his boyfriend, lover, partner, his Rin. Rin belonged to him.

They had exchanged those words of possessiveness the day Rin had confessed, Haruka had told him that he would never share Rin with anyone else. They had told each other that they belonged to the other. Rin was his, and Haruka was Rin's. The day of their first date, their first kiss, their first night together, even on the day they had to part ways.

So Sousuke had no right with anything when it concerned Rin and Haruka -their relationship. He had not the right to make Rin happier than Haruka. It just hurt so much inside Haruka realized, his heart had ached when he had seen the smile on Rin's face directed to the Mobile and not to him. Haruka put on a stern face when he realized that all his emotions tried to spill out of his heart and show themselves to the outside world.

"I came home late." Haruka responded cold. "I hadn't time to shower and just wanted to see your face as long as you had time. But now I'd like to take my shower."

Haruka offered as further explanation for Rin.

"I see." Came the mumbled and sad sounding respond and it stung in Haruka's heart that he was the cause of this sadness. "Then have a good night."

Haruka nodded shortly "Good night. Love you." Haruka said noticing that it was one of the few times where he uttered those words as the first one.

He waited for Rin to return those words, but the teen just nodded and ended then the skype call. Haruka stared at the screen of his laptop, his eyes wide. Rin hadn't answered, he had just ended the call, and this fact even hurt Haruka more than the sad face, the sad voice or the smile that was directed towards this mobile.

This was new, Haruka didn't know how to react to this. Rin had always, always responded to him when he was the one to utter those words as the first one. Those three words would even plaster a smile on Rin's face when he was sad or upset about something.

Just after staring some seconds longer into his Skype-account Haruka began to go offline and turn off his laptop, he closed it and laid it then aside. Dragging his feet Haruka made his way towards his room, his mind still stuck in the way Rin just had ended the call. Maybe this was karma, him lying to Rin about not showering, though that he hadn't had dinner was the truth.

He didn't want to eat anymore, so his steps just lead him to his bed. With a shaky breath he laid down and tried to get a grip on his heart and mind. Maybe Rin had just been sad about something else, had things in his head, maybe he just didn't hear Haruka, so he shouldn't read too much in Rin's actions.

When closing his eyes Haruka felt how his mind offered him unacceptable reasons of why Rin would have done that. But Haruka knew that he shouldn't listen to those thoughts, shouldn't even consider them. But then again Haruka also was just human so his mind began to dive in a spiral out of those thoughts about Rin not liking him anymore, wanting to break up and the like.

Suddenly Rin's smiling face to the mobile flashed in Haruka's mind and his grip around his blanket tightened. It infuriated Haruka to know that Rin was smiling at Sousuke but not him. A shaky breath escaped his lips when his grip loosened, just then realizing that something was wetting his cheeks.

* * *

"Sousuke..." A low, asking growl was to hear from the black-haired teen. "Sousuke?..."

Makoto nudged the slightly taller teen on the shoulder.  
"Wake up." He whispered -breathing out his demand- after leaning down to Sousuke's ear.

Drowsy, turquoise eyes lazily opened and then gazed slowly up towards those emerald eyes, which belonged to the only person who could melt the ice in Sousuke's heart. With a yawn Sousuke slowly propped himself on his elbows and supported his upper body, never breaking the eye contact to Makoto.

Last night had been wonderful in Sousuke's mind. It had been soft, slow and Makoto had been gorgeous, cute with his shyness at first which slowly faded and the teen began to be more forceful, even demanding in a way as hungry kiss after the other followed.

To sum it up the previous night had been wonderful and Sousuke knew that he wouldn't, no, that he couldn't forget this night ever in his life.

"What's up?" Sousuke asked his voice raw and hoarse from his previous sleep.

Makoto laughed behind his hand. Sousuke wasn't really a morning person, that Makoto had found out after their first night together in the same apartment. It had been an innocent night, they had talked about feelings and where their relationship would go from that point on.

There had been things that had to be spoken thoroughly before they could even think about taking a step or two forward. Relationships were after all a serious topic in Makoto's opinion.

So they had spoken for a long time -thanking the gods that it was weekend- after Makoto's confession when they had been studying for some class. This talk ended with the day turning to night and Makoto having to crash at Sousuke's place.

Sousuke had immediately offered Makoto his own bed and didn't even listen to Makoto as the teen tried to refuse sleeping in Sousuke's bed. So it ended with Sousuke sleeping on the couch in his own home and Makoto having to inhale the scent of Sousuke over the night which had lead to some major problems during the night.

But right now those alluring and cute memories weren't the reason Makoto had woken Sousuke up from his slumber.

"Did Rin behave strange those last weeks?" Makoto asked. "I mean, I do speak with him and text with him over What's App and Skype, but you still are better in touch with him, than I am."

Sousuke blinked confused and then rubbed over his eyelids to rid the sleepiness which still clouded his mind. Then he pushed himself up to a sitting position -the blanket just covering his crotch now. To get rid of his hoarse voice Sousuke cleared his throat once and then again. Until he was sure that his voice sounded normal again. Just then his eyes returned to Makoto.

"Why do you ask all of a sudden?" He then uttered still slightly confused about the question. Sure there had been some incidents which didn't sum up with Rin's usual behaviour but still...

"See. Haruka is behaving differently those past days. It's like this since 3 or 4 weeks and I'm quite sure that it has something to do with Rin's and his relationship. After all when I once tried to speak with him in a café about those matters he didn't respond well." Makoto ended his speech and straightened up too. "I'm just worried. I mean, they do love each other, you know. Their bound to each other as friends made me envious in the past but then again I also admired it. Then they started dating and Haruka changed to the better, opened up a little more and wasn't thinking solely about water, pools and swimming."

Sousuke was silent for a while trying to focus on what Makoto was telling him, while those emerald eyes pulled him in their spell, a spell which would never let go of him anymore. But then slowly the voice which caressed his mind tenderly began to show him those sentences and it dawned Sousuke. He after all too remembered that Rin's insecure and strange behaviour had started just a few weeks ago too.

"Indeed. Rin does behave different too since some weeks. He overslept those past days a lot and I suppose you know how I got to hear that. He just wouldn't stop to whine about it for an eternity. Anyway the last time we phoned he didn't sound as usual too. He sounded sad and somehow resigned." Sousuke's voice subdued to the end.

"I see." Makoto responded silently. "You know we should help them."

"What do you mean?" Sousuke asked rising an eyebrow.

"Now listen..."

* * *

The airport was crowded and noisy, just increasing the nasty headache Rin felt since that morning. He looked around, knowing that he must be glaring as people sent him asking looks every now and then. The wait for his plane felt like eternities and Rin couldn't bear it any longer he wanted to seat himself in the plane to Japan and just sleep for the remaining time.

The wish to see Haruka again was filling his heart with joy and yet repelled him to no end. He wanted to flee, cancel his flight and hide under a layer of blankets but then again hiding couldn't resolve this problem. A sharp pain shot through Rin's mind and he shortly cringed.

This was bad he was afraid of the thoughts to have to face Haruka. He was scared to no end that Haruka would break him. His heart already was in pieces due to the never ending thoughts of Haruka wanting to break up. Those horrible thoughts had just increased in his mind after their last Skype-call.

After that call they hadn't called each other again just texted but even those texts had felt stiff and repulsing. A long sigh escaped Rin's lips as he began to massage his temples, he had just heard the call out for his flight. He lunged for his luggage and stiffly walked towards the plane which would carry him to his new destiny, maybe even to an occurrence which would turn his whole world upside down.

* * *

Sea-blue eyes skimmed over the airport, searching for that unusual, beautiful lilac hair which belonged to the person who made his heart skip more than just one beat. Haruka had missed him so much, so terribly, terribly much. He just wanted to hug him, kiss him, hold him. Rin was his world, his everything he never wanted to lose in his life. He was the dream that chased Haruka, the rival that gave him his ambition, the love that made him feel safe.

Then finally his eyes caught that lilac colour amongst the other people, on Rin's head was his black cap and the luggage that showed Haruka that Rin would stay here for a while and be with him. But then his eyes met the red ones of the other. They looked sad, broken and his face was set in a frown. And Haruka's world shattered into pieces.

He had collected his mind after thinking for days about their Skype-call and finally convinced himself that Rin would never think about those ridiculously horrible things. But the face that greeted him made his heart ache, it wasn't a face someone showed a person who he had missed.

Haruka found himself stumbling backwards away, away from there, away from Rin. He didn't want to see Rin like this. His eyes looking dead and sad, his face showing disappointment not even covered with indifference or a forced smile. Haruka turned around leaving the airport and those sad red eyes behind. Stumbled away though he heard Makoto shout out for him but he needed to get away from there. Rin. His Rin wasn't happy to be back in Japan.

To be back by his side...

* * *

Rin stopped in his tracks when his eyes met the ones of Haruka, he wanted to smile at him but he somehow just couldn't bring himself to fake a smile. His hand began to rise as to greet Haruka. But he stop his motion when seeing Haruka's reaction. He let his hand fall to his side and watched his boyfriend leave, quickly, determined, if not desperate to leave. Rin couldn't otherwise but watch him leave, he couldn't even move a single muscle, his eyes followed the blue jacked disappear through the exit.

"Rin?" Someone familiar uttered his name but Rin couldn't focus, he still stared at that gaping exit with the cruelly shining day behind.

"Rin answer me." Again someone was speaking with him but Rin's world shattered, it was shattering.

Why would Haruka do this, leave without greeting him?

He really wanted to break up didn't he?

He just didn't want to confront Rin like this, didn't want to fake a smile like he did on their last Skype-call. A sob escaped Rin's throat and he pressed his hands over his face, his surroundings dulled out and forgotten by now. He cried standing there in between the people that passed and some that stared.

* * *

 

Sousuke lead Rin towards the exit and Makoto was transporting his luggage and couldn't tear his eyes away from his friend and boyfriend. The way Rin cried was heart-breaking, he had looked so pained and broken when he had noticed that Haruka was leaving.

It pained Makoto to see Rin like this and Haruka. To have seen Haruka flee for a second time from someone or something made Makoto worry even more about what was going on between those two. Whatever these matters were, they had grown to something much bigger and deep rooting than anything else they ever faced.

* * *

He would kill Haruka. Sousuke was sure. He would tear that bastard apart for leaving Rin at the airport like this. This was the first time Sousuke saw his friend cry this hard, this frantic, this desperate after his father's death.

He would really kill Haruka with his bare hands for breaking Rin's heart, his fragile big heart. Sousuke had never really thought of Haruka being the best person to be together with Rin. But when he had seen that Rin was happy he hadn't said anything else against it. But this, this changed everything, he would make that bastard pay for this.

* * *

Haruka stumbled into his apartment, crashing the door shut and stumbling to his room, burying himself under his blanket. He wanted his mind to stop, his thoughts to calm down, his world was spinning. He was the reason Rin was sad and didn't want to get back to Japan, he had broken Rin's heart, he had disappointed him, he had left him alone with something major, he had left Rin behind and now he would leave Haruka, like Haruka's parents had done. Rin would leave him like everyone else he deeply cared for.

* * *

"Rin-niichan!" Rin heard her greet him. "How was your fligh-"

As she was about to talk more, ask and demand answers. Rin just went through bumped her shoulder as he passed her. His head hanging he made his way to his room he would stay here. Far away from Tokyo if Haruka wanted to speak he was here. He could swing his ass over here to Iwami to break up with him. Rin just wanted to disappear for that time being in his familiar room alone with his grief.

* * *

"I will not help you to get Rin to meet that bastard again Mako!" Sousuke could barely hold his voice down.

"You have no right to keep them apart Sousuke. Besi-"

"The hell I have no right!" Sousuke interrupted Makoto. "You saw what he did though he could see those broken eyes. Haruka ran away like a little pu-"

"Yamazaki. Do not. Interrupt me." Makoto emphasized each word. "And now listen to me. We will still help them out because you know as well as I do that they are good for each other. Back then as children Haruka stopped swimming because he thought he hurt Rin. Rin turned into some creepy asshole because he of him being apart from Haruka! Never. Try. To keep. People. Who belong to each other. Apart. You hear me?!" Makoto's voice rose just the slightest bit not enough to be heard from others but showing enough anger to send a shiver down Sousuke's spine.

"God that was hot." Sousuke mumbled.

"What did you say?" Makoto's voice subdued to the end with a blush creeping up his cheeks.

"I said god you're right. So yeah..." Sousuke replied looking to the ground.

* * *

Seven days.

Rin was since seven days in Japan, no call, no doorbell ringing, there was no sign of him. It was like he never arrived, he never even returned to Japan. Haruka exhaled, his breath shaky as he did so. Then suddenly there was a ring on the door Haruka shot up and hurried to the door, hoping that it was Rin who visited him. But when he opened the door emerald eyes greeted him and Haruka just couldn't hide the disappointment in his features. He stepped aside wanting to let Makoto get inside the apartment, but the taller teen didn't move a single muscle he had a wide smile on his face and shook his head.

"Haru let's go out today." He uttered still a warm smile plastered on his face.

Haruka looked him in the eyes, then on the ground and shook his head. He couldn't, he didn't want to leave his apartment for a while. The time off he had taken for Rin's return, was biting him in his ass now. Had he access to a pool then he might be able to just drown his thoughts in the water while swimming.

"I don't accept a no. Now dress and follow me." Makoto said with a demanding tone in his voice.

Haruka thought about saying no and just returning to his bed but then he looked up and saw those determined eyes of Makoto and somehow he couldn't get himself to say no. So he nodded and made his way to his room to shower and dress.

* * *

Rin was grumbling as he followed Sousuke through the town. True he had wanted to go out and do something together with Sousuke but this was just, ugh. He didn't want to go on a trip in which he didn't know what would happen and where the destination was. Maybe he should have stayed in Iwami instead of getting back to Tokyo.

Since two nights he was at Sousuke's. He had lied to his mother about going to Haruka, after all his sister had begun to be annoying with her questions about what he was doing and if anything happened between him and Haruka for him to stay at their house. It just had become a bother Rin didn't want to endure any longer so he went back to Tokyo.

"Can't you just tell me where we are going?" Rin whined not even bothering with trying to catch up to Sousuke.

"No. And now move your ass. I don't want to get late." Sousuke growled back bored and somehow annoyance shining through his voice.

Rin sighed and just walked behind him not even bothering to look around and figure out where he was or where he was going to be in a few minutes, hell he had asked and asked but if Sousuke didn't want to tell then so be it. The colours blurred around him as his thoughts began to push again the happenings in those last weeks to his mind.

He had wanted to visit Haruka so badly, wanted to hug him and kiss him, just be around him so much. He missed him so badly but he was scared, so scared about what would happen when he stood in front of hi-

Rin's eyes widened. Haruka was standing just there, beside Makoto.  
What on earth was going on?

"Hell! Go Rin, move your ass." Sousuke said and shoved Rin forward towards those two.

* * *

Rin.

Haruka saw him, that lilac hair couldn't ever be overseen by anyone, especially not him. After all Rin had been the person, who stood in focus of his mind for years now. He was the person that made him change over the years of reserve.

Then the person right next to Rin fell into Haruka's sight and it angered Haruka. His presence alone made his blood rush faster through his veins and he wanted nothing more than to rush forward and rip the tall teen away from Rin. His eyes narrowed slightly before he put on his stoic face back on place.

"Hey Sousuke!" Makoto waved beside them towards their spot.

It seemed like this had been their idea or rather Makoto's idea in a way so Haruka asked himself if Rin had known about this. But then he saw those red eyes -he had admired when they shone in delight while watching a sunset or speaking about his favourite professional swimmers- widened in shock and confusion. Thus it was clear that he hadn't had any information about all this.

"Hey." Sousuke uttered as soon as Rin and he were close enough. "How are you Mako?"

Mako? What did happen between Sousuke and Makoto in those past days that Sousuke began to use a pet name for Makoto? Haruka didn't know and it somehow made him wonder how deep he had sunk with his thoughts about Rin and their little problem as to not realize what was going on with Makoto and Sousuke.

"I'm fine and you Sousuke?" Haruka eyed those two from the corner of his eyes how they smiled at each other with a loving glint in their eyes.

The way he and Rin used to.

* * *

Rin couldn't believe it. Sousuke had known that he didn't want to see Haruka. Though, ok, he hadn't said anything about not wanting to see Haruka, but Rin knew that Sousuke had noticed. He eyed the taller teen since their arriving and Makoto's greeting. The way they looked at each other was bitter-sweet.

Rin could totally see that Sousuke had fallen deep for the emerald-eyed teen. While watching his features softened. His cold friend had finally found the love of his life. A smile spread on his face. It remembered him so much of his first dates with Haruka.

The way he could see the wide ocean in Haruka's sharp eyes, how he could see a future he wanted to share with the other teen. Then tears poked on his eyes and now everything would end for sure. Sousuke had brought him to Haruka so that they could sort things out. But did Rin really want to?

* * *

Haruka watched Rin closely and saw then the warm smile on his face. First it sparked a new wave of jealousy but then he looked towards the direction Rin's eyes were set. There were Sousuke and Makoto surely deepened in their own little world.

Though Makoto had tried to bring him here whilst looking casually, Haruka had still seen it in the doorway that there was something up, of why he wanted Haruka to go along. Haruka watched the two smiling at each other and chatting about minor things and it made his heart warm, remembering the first day he finally could speak with Rin normally again. After Rin was over his phase filled with blushing and stuttering as soon as he saw Haruka, it had taken Rin a full week to finally speak normally after his confession.

After that week their dates had been at the sea, way often at the sea. They had eaten ice-cream, had visited pools and mostly Rin had taken Haruka to places Haruka would like. Their dates had always been wonderful though Haruka cherished the moments he could spent alone with Rin more, those were the most valuable memories.

The way Rin had cuddled to Haruka's side when sitting at the terrace to Haruka's garden at his home in iwami. Haruka had a fond smile on his face when his gaze returned to Rin. Watching the lilac-haired teen with an amused smile, wondering what the other was thinking while smiling like that.

Then Rin also turned towards him and their gazes met, lingered way too long on each other as always, until Haruka looked away. It somehow didn't seem possible that Rin wanted to break up.

* * *

Rin wanted to touch Haruka so bad, he wanted to run to his side as always. A sigh escaped his lips when Haruka broke their hypnotizing gaze. He let his head hanging, he had to speak with Haruka. This way of thinking broke him more than anything else on this planet.

"So guys." He heard Sousuke speaking up. "I thought about going to a restaurant and eat something." Sousuke ended his speech not leaving Makoto's side a single second.

Rin looked shortly towards Haruka and saw that the other nodded. So he wanted to be around Rin, then who was he to object. Rin nodded too. They made their way towards the restaurant and Rin soon enough noticed that the two walked in front of Haruka and Rin so that Rin had to walk beside Haruka.

There was a little distance between them, a little distance which felt like spaces were in between them. Rin couldn't feel the usual warmth that radiated from Haruka. So he looked forward with a disappointed look on his face, watched his best friend as he walked beside Makoto shoulders nearly touching, hands twitching with the desire to wrap themselves around Makoto's hand.

And Rin laughed softly. He knew that feeling, he had felt it often enough on their strolls through the town when Haruka went shopping with him or just walked each other home. But then he felt his own cold shoulder and his laugh died down. Just then realizing that they had arrived at the restaurant.

* * *

Their meal had been nice. Haruka had as always wanted some mackerel and after being sated they made their way outside. Surely this meal had remembered Haruka of the disastrous night when Rin had taken him out and it ended with Rin being drenched in the water he spilled over himself while he was busy with blushing and stuttering about Haruka saying I love you for the first time without Rin implying it.

It had been funny and they had rushed home without finishing their meal as Rin had been too embarrassed to even look in the waitress eyes or any other customer though no one real cared. It had ended with Rin locking himself in the bath when getting to Haruka's home. He hadn't want to get out for a while still embarrassed about what had happened in the restaurant. It had taken Haruka an eternity to finally convince Rin to get out of the bath -Haruka had nearly begged him to get out.

"So, you two." Sousuke spoke up suddenly startling Haruka out of his thoughts. "Time to part ways." He ended his sentence.

"Ah, yes we get going. I mean Sousuke and I." Makoto uttered with a smile.

Haruka wanted them to stay a little longer but it had been obvious that it would end like this from the beginning of the day. So he just nodded silently as response.

* * *

Rin couldn't believe his ears. He wanted to protest but stopped when he saw the warning look in Sousuke's face. It was clear as day where those two were heading and who was Rin to interfere. Though Makoto and also Sousuke had cock-blocked Rin and Haruka a few times when they started dating. Yet he wanted to help and still tease his friend a little bit with this.

"Ok! Good bye you two. Be gentle with Makoto." Rin laughed, shortly grinning towards those two.

He noticed the way Makoto blushed and looked away.

"I'll try my best." Sousuke responded with a daring smirk on his face. "Though I doubt I can get near that gorgeous body tonight."

Now Rin was blushing feverishly. Sousuke never failed to show who had the upper hand in these kind of daring games.

"Sou! What are you babbling!" Makoto whispered venomously beside him.

"Now my plans are ruined as to get even a little piece of that ass. Thanks Rin." There was a faked unnerved tone in Sousuke's voice before he laughed and said his goodbye and left with Makoto by his side.

Rin was left with Haruka. The teen felt so near and yet so far. For Rin it felt like he never had returned to Japan, returned home. The wish of taking Haruka in his arms still lingered in his thoughts and bones. He turned around to face the other teen, hoping for this to end soon.

"Make it short please." Rin begged while looking to the ground.

There was no answer from Haruka, it was silent and Rin looked up to see if there was something, anything in the other's features that gave Rin a clue about Haruka's thoughts but there was just a blank face as always.

"Please stop to look like that. Say what you want to say! Break me to pieces, make me bleed, but bring this to an end! I can't concentrate anymore! I can't think anymore! Please just make it stop Haru. Don't let me endure this any longer."

There was still no answer and Rin's voice began to rise, began to break until tears spilled from his eyes.

"Just make it stop... Do whatever you want to do... But stop this endless suffering my heart has to endure... Haru please..." To the end voice subdued, ending his speech with a mere mumble.

* * *

Haruka watched Rin with wide eyes, not really knowing what was going on and what Rin was implying with each word he uttered. It was like a world was crushing down with each tear that dropped, with each word that was spat out to world. The weak and broken voice of the lilac-haired teen was shattering Haruka's heart, Rin's pained eyes pressed the air out of Haruka's lungs.

Haruka was at loss for words. What should he stop? What should be over soon?What should he say? Didn't Rin want to break up? Wasn't he the one who was unpleased with the way their relationship was going on?

But in that exact moment it seemed more like Rin wanted Haruka to break up, wanted Haruka to shatter Rin's world so that he could be sad once and then never again, so that he could die inside?

Haruka shut down his thoughts and his instincts took over his body, one step another step and then Haruka pulled Rin into his arms, embraced him, trying to show him his feelings with this minor exchange of warmth.

A minor act which held such a great meaning behind it. He loved Rin, he didn't want to let go of him ever in his life, he loved him so much...

Haruka felt the way Rin fisted the front of shirt, crying into the crook of Haruka's neck.

* * *

Warm arms were around him. Each intake of breath filled Rin's lungs with the scent he had missed for month. He felt the warmth that belonged to his side accept him with open arms. His fingers were clenched in the shirt of Haruka. Crying and crying he couldn't stop himself. This embrace felt like he never left Haruka's arms in his life, it felt like life, love and affection, even something more intense than all three together.

How had he ever thought that Haruka didn't love him? He could hear his heart beat against the one of Haruka, showing him the love that shuddered out of their heart with each beat. Those arms around Rin were trying to hold him by their side for eternities and those lips whispering those words Rin ached to hear those past days, he ached to feel those past days.

_I love you, I love you, I love you._

It was like a chant, a spell Haruka used to bind Rin's heart even more to his. Everything, everything every thought of losing had been a game of his mind. Rin cried and swore to never let go of this boy, teen, man he learned to love, hell he had loved him since their first meeting.

* * *

Haruka felt Rin tremble in his arms, sob and cry but he also could feel the way the teen's heart beat against his. How every intake of breath was a oath of them being together until their death, even after their death.

* * *

The remaining days of Rin's halt passed by quickly. Until those two once again stood at the airport, exchanging affectionate, loving, assuring words and 'we will call and see us over Skype's. Their ways parted once again with an unspoken vow of their hearts to always belong to each other. After all this parting wasn't a final one. This parting would strengthen their bond and would built a  _new sight_  they would eventually see. It was  _for their future_...

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this!  
> Especially you chiasa <3


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